Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize