3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
