can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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