But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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