So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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