the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
