they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
