just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Walk of Shame today included voting.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize