what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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