At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
