Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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