This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
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Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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