so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
you never un-have a 4some
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
