She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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