I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
