Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
