It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
