what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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