But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize