Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
