i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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