Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
