you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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