I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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