The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
