Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
