he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
