I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
