its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
