so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
