worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Bring me that man meat
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
