That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
