what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize