Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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