Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I need to sanitize my soul.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
