we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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