Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
