Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
