Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
