I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my being single is dangerous.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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