u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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