im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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