I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
only if we run a train.
done.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
