I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
