i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
