What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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