Apparently you make a good broom.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize