you have to choose: penises or morals?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
