What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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