At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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