I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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