i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
