She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
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