Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
