Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
How naked do you want me to be?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
