i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize