I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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