No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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