I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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