i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
