The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
