...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
