Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
