once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
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Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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