he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
